hespokeoftoast:

I was not fucking ready

jaclcfrost:

"why do you like floral prints so much" because i’m not a person. secretly i’m just a mass of bees. trying to blend in with humans. unable to let go of my love of flowers

shorten:

*at my own wedding* before I marry you… do you say gif or jif?

feathers-ruffled:

dicksplit:

*Baby starts crying on a plane*

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*baby starts crying in movie theater*

vaginaed:

when xkit crashes and you’re forced to use regular tumblr

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first of all, who let me get so emotionally invested in a television show

clockworkvaudeville:

when your parents try to explain a million things to you and youve just woken up

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greetings:

when u tell a joke and no one else laughs but u

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luxwing:

you ever get in those moods where a family member just opens their mouth and youre like

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cyberlocc:

but do aliens believe in me….

Michael Phelps caught cheating in Olympics; medals revoked

unclefather:

reinventingthekarmicwheel:

Sources say he stapled fish to his wrists and ankles to help him swim faster.

i’m shocked

rcah:

TWITTER HAS NO CHILL 

rcah:

TWITTER HAS NO CHILL 

okaymad:

when you’re eating and you bite into something really spicy

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